I decided not to do the high-waisted skirts post after all, since everyone has moved on, quite rightly, to A/W. It’s been a time of relaxation, which is pointless since I don’t really do anything. Relaxation meaning extra sleep and a bottomless flask of whiskey, in this case.
In any case, back to the matter at hand, I truly, truly hate the ’80s revival thing going on. The ’80s were a horrible time for fashion and unless we’re talking Club Kids, a general waste of time. My parents were in their 20s and were bored, my homeland was a communist wasteland, and everyone looked ugly due to bad makeup and worse silhouettes. Balmain, a current worldwide obsession, just doesn’t make my knees melt with the pointy of shoulder jackets.
I figured I might as well make a list of my dislikes while I’m at it.
DRAFT – PET PEEVES. Cue drum roll.
1. Madonna – I don’t like any of her songs, not one, and I’ve listened to them all. Besides, she looks frightening.
2. Michael Jackson
3. Shoulder pads
4. X’s Next Top Model – I know my friends will hate me for this, but I simply can’t bring myself to care about the franchise
5. Hermès – I’m going to get even more grief about this, but can’t anyone else see how tacky the prints and patterns are?! High quality fabrics and craftsmanship, yes, but I wouldn’t wear one of their scarves unless I morphed into a 50-year-old British woman. Don’t even get me started on the ridiculous prices they have on paper goods and that hideous line of china. Almost as tacky as Versace or Cavalli, but these have their good moments. That being said, if I had 4,000 dollars lying around the house, I would definitely buy the bike. And if my rent was more substantial, it would make buying one of those pretty leather tassel key rings sensible, even if I don’t like the colour choices.
6. American pop culture – call me Eurotrash, but I can’t relate. Maybe if I visited the US of A…
7. Gisele – the girl can pose and her skin seems to die for, but isn’t she a bit too bird-of-prey-like for a sun goddess?
8. Platform shoes – if my shoes aren’t flats, then they damn well better be hot. I don’t kill my insoles to look like the girl next door.
9. the colour brown
10. FTV – I watch it, since it’s my only option to see runway shows offline at the moment, but I don’t have to like it. Cheap, tacky, Eurotrash-y. The branded merch is hideous, the Miss FTV contestants nondescript and I can’t remember the last time I didn’t feel dirty hearing people say “I love Fashion TV” with those big, fake smiles.
Don’t forget to make an account at closetcouture.com, boys and girls! It’s good, I promise. Like the wardrobe software in Clueless.